Inspired by Nora.

Too many lives are lost far too young.  They say that only the good die young, and the more I see, the more I find that statement to be true.  When Darkwing died, my heart was broken, and I was lost and absolutely unsure of what really mattered in the world when I no longer had both parents and my family was no longer whole.  With that in mind, my heart physically aches every time I hear of a friend losing one of their loved ones.

I went to elementary school with the Greene Girls when I was growing up back in Kentucky.  Mary Beth was younger than me, Nora was a couple of years older.  As is typical of kids, the older schoolmates didn't often go out of their way to socialize with the younger ones of us.  But Nora was always kind, and always chatted with me when I was one of the last ones to get picked up from school.  I still picture Nora at age 13, a smile on her face, and just being silly in front of the school building.  

I was overwhelmed with sadness the day after Christmas to read hear that Mary Beth had lost her best friend - her big sister, Nora - that day in a car accident.  She was 28 years old.

Flashing back to the here and now, I had been in a silent stand-off with my older sister since Christmas Eve night (I was being a pest, she was being cranky - which resulted in us being annoyed with each other and hardly speaking throughout Christmas Day).  As soon as I heard the news about Nora, I thought of how I would feel if I were in Mary Beth's shoes and had lost my big sister.  I'd be devastated.  I texted Laura right away to break the silence and tell her I loved her.

It's unfortunate that sometimes it takes such extreme circumstances to snap us back into being the nicest versions of ourselves.  But I wanted to share the story about Nora's death with you as a way to make her memory live on a little bit longer, and hopefully to inspire you to be the kindest and most loving version of yourself.  You never know when you won't have another chance to say your I love you's.  

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A long distance shoutout.

Our eighth Thanksgiving without you (how have we gone this long without seeing each other?), and I still have yet to go a single day of the year without thinking of you, missing you, loving you, wishing for you to be here, remembering you, talking to you, and feeling beyond grateful that you were mine.

I love you so much, Darkwing.  Happy Turkey Day to the biggest turkey we know.  (That's you.)  (You can blame yourself for my lame sense of humor.)

xoxo.

PS - I wish you were here to make your Yorkshire Pudding for Thanksgiving this year, just like you used to.  I thought that stuff was gross, but I'd gladly scoop it onto my plate, if it meant that you could be here with us.

Sandy's aftermath.

I realize that, to this point, I haven't mentioned a word on this blog about the disaster that was Hurricane Sandy.

I was away last week traveling for work, but was glued to the radio and social media, trying to get the very latest news on the storm's course, and then it's wrath, and then the horrible destruction that was left in its wake.

I was texting and tweeting and Facebooking my New Yorker friends, trying to make sure that they knew that the whole country was behind them, thinking of them.  I was so worried, but I am grateful to say that all of my friends made it through the storm without bodily harm.  Most were without lights until this afternoon, but thank goodness it wasn't worse than that.

New York was my city.  This blog was started to chronicle my days exploring and becoming a part of the most amazing city in the world.  And my heart hurts to know that the city, my friends, and my former neighbors are suffering and are being so challenged right now.  Some will be without homes for weeks, if not months, and even worse, some have lost the people that they love.

If you have the means, I urge you to take a moment to donate to the Hurricane Sandy relief efforts.  To be able to show our friends on the East Coast that they are not alone and that we are here to help pick them back up, is an invaluable thing.

To donate $10, simply text "redcross" to 90999.  

For more information or to donate more, click here to visit the American Red Cross's website.

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(photo source.)

Getting real.

I am having a hard time right now.  A really hard time. 

I try to always keep LITC on the bubbly, happy-go-lucky side, but while talking to my friend TN yesterday, we observed that this is the majority of what we see of each other's lives on the internet.  We see engagement pictures, wedding albums, weekend outings, + upbeat status updates.  And yes, it's a fantastic thing to see + it is important to focus on the positive things in life + is such a wonderful feeling to see each other's happinesses, but I observed that sometimes only seeing that part of your friends' lives makes you feel completely abnormal + that much more unlucky when you hit a really hard bump in the road.  So I've decided to admit to the group of you here that follow me + consistently cheer me on in my best of times, that I am in fact having an incredibly difficult time right now.

I must spare the details, because although I am admitting that I am currently hurting, airing specific dirty laundry is unnecessary.  Suffice it for me to describe it to you like this:  You know those times in your life when all you can do is let forth the waterworks, run to your family for the tightest hugs + the most empowering words they can muster, + turn in at night wanting to just curl into a ball + hide under the covers for days, hoping that when you awake your heart will be healed of the pain?  That...is currently where I stand.  

And I do not ask for pity whatsoever - that isn't what I need.  I just needed the therapeutic feeling of sharing my position with you ladies.  You are my friends + confidants more often than not, + you all so bravely share with me your hard times + when you need support.  I sure do appreciate knowing that I have you in my life.

Sad news.

For all of you puppy owners out there, make sure to go home today and squeeze yours just a little tighter.

For all of you with an extra few minutes, click on over to my dear cousin, NH's blog, and offer her a hug if you can.  Her sweet dog, Jake (pictured above), got hit by their UPS man's truck this week (they live on a huge farm in Montana), and en route to the vet hospital, Jake passed away.  Her heart is hurting a lot right now, as any pet owner would understand, and I'm sure she'd appreciate any extra smiles you can send her way.

(Photo source:  PrairiePrincess)

On a very serious note.

Remember my sweet Bianca, who I wrote about here, who would have celebrated her 20th birthday this month?

The story of Bianca's death is one that I hesitate to share, because there is so much emotion, such vile controversy surrounding the events of that day.  I wasn't there; I cannot personally attest to the true happenings of that Memorial Day night in 2008, three weeks before Bianca was meant to graduate from Beverly Hills High School.  What has been reported is that Bianca was in an argument with a "friend" of hers over a boy, while standing on a high-rise apartment balcony in Century City, a pocket of West Los Angeles. 

It is still a mystery to what happened next, but our spunky, silly, outgoing and full-of-life firecracker of a friend died that night, as a result of a 15 floor fall from the balcony where she was last known to be alive.

It was under investigation, and theories of what happened immediately encompassed our tight-knit Beverly Hills community.  Anyone that knew Bianca felt that Law Enforcement's ruling of a suicide was not only pathetic, but also an insult to the very spirit that was our dear friend and an additional heartbreak to those that loved her so much.

We have spent the past two years and three months commemorating Bianca's memory by continuing to love and cherish the stories we have of her and the times that we were able to spend with her. 

As the best friend of my little sister, I vividly remember her as a constant guest at our house.  They would walk home from school their 8th and 9th grade years to spend time at our place: snacking on junk food, laughing with me, joking with our mom (who Binky jokingly always called "Miss Karen Ma'am" in honor of my mom's Southern manners and insistence on being respectful to your elders).

:::

Fast forward to today, when I received a call from Little Sister, who informed me that Bianca's oldest brother, Bernard, was murdered last night, along with two others, in a West Hollywood, California apartment.

There is little news reported, supposedly no witnesses, and leads are slim to none. 

You can find an article on this tragedy here.

:::

I've spent tonight in a bit of a haze.  I was devastated at the loss of our Bianca, in a way that I have a very difficult time putting into words.  I was at work when I got the news of her death and was so caught off-guard at the verbalization that she had died that my legs yielded beneath me, and I hit the floor.  I have taken what I experienced from the sorrow that I, and the others in Bianca's life, felt in response to this catastrophe, and I have made a conscious effort to funnel it into positive actions, thoughts, words.

However, the death of a second Khalili child and sibling in two years leaves me utterly confused.

I don't understand and am completely unable to comprehend how this much devastation can be allowed to rock one family.

:::

In my hesitation to share such a personalized view of these events, I opted in the end to tell these stories to you for one purpose.  I have always been a believer in everything happening for a reason, and I need to do my part in making sure that this reason comes to be, because I am having a terribly hard time grasping it at this moment. 

So here is my thought to you:

Please remember to love.  To show love, respect, and kindness to those around you.  To those you spend each day with, yes, that's a given.  But also to be kind to those you pass on the sidewalk, to the ones you work with day in and day out, to those you may have not yet come across but will someday, somehow.  Offer help to those that need it.  Respect yourselves, respect others, and respect the lives and feelings of the people that you encounter.   

What are we here for, if not to take care of one another and try to make for our friends, and for strangers, each day better than the last?  Cliche, maybe.  But just so vital to life.

:::

With sorrow, but also with love and hope-

Lacey