I dig this quote.
My morning began today with reading this New York Times article written by Alex Williams (husband of one of my favorite bloggers, Joanna Goddard). Being a contender in the whole Millenial Generation Dating Game myself, especially in the Los Angeles and New York arenas, I found the article to be, in may ways, spot on.
On the note of present-day dating game faux pas, I was really floored to hear this morning the outcome of the below story:
A dear friend recently met a man while traveling, and they spent the following few days after they'd met seeing each other and getting to know one another. They live in different cities located 1,500 miles apart, but they hit it off so well that they wanted to see more of each other and booked a weekend rendezvous to meet in a city located somewhere in the middle of the both of theirs. The weekend rendezvous was fantastic, and steady communication ensued. So they booked another trip to meet elsewhere in the country. During this trip, my dear friend caught a glance at his phone that he repeatedly was texting on, and she quickly realized that it was his ex-girlfriend that he'd been playing texting tennis with for the past while - all while she and he were in the car, touring around together, on their weekend rendezvous. When my dear friend brought it up to him in conversation later, trying to understand the situation and relay to him that she was put off by what had been happening earlier, he replied to my dear friend that he "likes" my friend, but that his expectations didn't align with hers, and that in his point of view, they were "just hanging out and are friends".
What do you think? Do you think it's out of line that my friend thought that hopping around the country on different weekend trips and continuous communication in between said trips, meant that her expectations could be set a little higher than just the "having fun" level? (It bothers me that his defense for being inconsiderate was to make her feel like she'd exaggerated the situation to be more than it was.)
*Oh, and if you read the article, I'd love to hear your thoughts on that as well!
***
On the note of present-day dating game faux pas, I was really floored to hear this morning the outcome of the below story:
A dear friend recently met a man while traveling, and they spent the following few days after they'd met seeing each other and getting to know one another. They live in different cities located 1,500 miles apart, but they hit it off so well that they wanted to see more of each other and booked a weekend rendezvous to meet in a city located somewhere in the middle of the both of theirs. The weekend rendezvous was fantastic, and steady communication ensued. So they booked another trip to meet elsewhere in the country. During this trip, my dear friend caught a glance at his phone that he repeatedly was texting on, and she quickly realized that it was his ex-girlfriend that he'd been playing texting tennis with for the past while - all while she and he were in the car, touring around together, on their weekend rendezvous. When my dear friend brought it up to him in conversation later, trying to understand the situation and relay to him that she was put off by what had been happening earlier, he replied to my dear friend that he "likes" my friend, but that his expectations didn't align with hers, and that in his point of view, they were "just hanging out and are friends".
What do you think? Do you think it's out of line that my friend thought that hopping around the country on different weekend trips and continuous communication in between said trips, meant that her expectations could be set a little higher than just the "having fun" level? (It bothers me that his defense for being inconsiderate was to make her feel like she'd exaggerated the situation to be more than it was.)
*Oh, and if you read the article, I'd love to hear your thoughts on that as well!
***
6 comments :
what?
WHAT?!
What the heck. Who flies to a diff city to HANG OUT. Whaaat.
I think the article makes valid points and who doesn't want to be courted the old skool way? It's kinda sad to read that and realise that it's probably never gonna be like that any more.
Here's my dilemma, this whole dating shit got so complicated before I even hit the legal drinking age that by the time I was a fully grown young woman ready to let myself be loved and to love back, I hardly knew what the hell to do....
Do I text back or do I not? Do I ask if he likes me or do I not? He just looked at me what does that mean? He wants to go have a few drinks, is that a date or is that just hanging out? What does hanging out even mean when it's between two people who aren't even really friends? The if's, but's or maybe's made the whole thing far to crazy that coupled with a young person's insecurities to boot this stuff got too complicated to even begin.
Plus which fool makes plans to hang out with someone in various parts of the world, spending hard earned money and time on the understanding they were just hanging out! Like I said what does hanging out even mean? Your friends probably just had a lucky escape and saved herself some money!
I love your blog FYI. :-)
Read this article:
http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/why-women-arent-crazy/
Bottom line...if the guy wasn't somewhat interested in being romantic with her, he never would have spent the money or made the effort to do that. He may have made the trip and figured out that that's not what he wanted, but continued to go along with it because it was fun. I dunno...I'll never understand the male brain.
Seriously?! This is why I'm so happy that I'm married now. What a douche. He was leading her on and well aware of what he was doing. AARRGGHH!!! Why do they have to be such dicks like that?!
Wow. Yes, your friends thoughts should have definitely been more than just hanging out. You don't fly off on multiple rendezvous just to hang out. That being said and just being out of a five year relationship I can somewhat see how he could still be texting an ex. Unfortunately for me I still have yet to break that cycle. However, I wouldn't be texting while with any other guy.
My thoughts on the article... This is exactly why I don't want to date anymore. I truly don't know how in today's society. I agree completely with his comparison to Girls. That's truly how most people end up 'together' is through a random meet and a string of texting later. I would love to find a guy who could actually plan a date and ask me out in advance. I'm sure that guy is borderline non-existent though.
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